Cullen Aim
by 00StupidLamb00
Summary: I know alot of people have done this but here is my stab at it p.s. I own none of these characters though I wish I did they belong to Stephenie Meyer Rated T for language and stuff :B
1. Screen Names

Bella- YayImAVamp95

Nessie- CheekyBaby32 (Get it like cheek?Like she touches your cheek to show you stuff?)

Edward-BellaMyLove1901

Carlisle- DoctorDude25

Esme-ILuvsYou03

Rose-WorshipMeOrElse

Emmett-TheSex100

Jasper- IFeelYou90

Alice- ShoppingPixie42

Jake- NessieLover83

Embry- CallMe22 (Get it? Like Embry Call?)

Seth- IluvEdwardSecretly222


	2. Nessie and Jakes Adventures

NessieLover83: Hey Nessie!

CheekyBaby32: Hey Jakeypoo!

NessieLover83: You know I hate when you call me that.

CheekyBaby32: Well at least I don't call you by Emmett's nickname for you...

NessieLover83: Don't even go there..

CheekyBaby32: JAKE THE PEDOWOLF!!!!!!!!!

NessieLover83: Holy dinourous! You went there!

CheekyBaby32: I went there, came back, went there again, and then stopped at the supermarket on the way back.

NessieLover83: Oh! Did you pick up that milk I wanted?

CheekyBaby32: Yeah, when should I bring it over?

NessieLover83: Anytime between 4 and 6. But not 4 or 6.

CheekyBaby32: Why not?

NessieLover83: Nessie, you should know this by now… Everyday at 4 and 6 I climb through Seth's bedroom window and shout a random word……

CheekyBaby32:How long have you been doing that?

NessieLover83: Ever since I just decided 6 minutes ago.

CheekyBaby32: Oooo! Can I come?!?

NessieLover83: Sure… Oh look! It's 6 now! We're off!

NessieLover83: * Jumps in Seth's window*

CheekyBaby32: * Follow's Jake*

**-IluvEdwardSecretly222 Signed On-**

NessieLover83: SWEET POTATO!

IluvEdwardSecretly222:?

CheekyBaby32: EGG SALAD SANDWICH!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: WTF?

NessieLover83: *Climbs back out window*

CheekyBaby32: *Follows Jake again*

**-IluvEdwardSecretly222 Signed Off-**

NessieLover83: Now wasn't that fun?

CheekyBaby32: That was oodles and boodles and noodles of fun!

NessieLover83: Oooo noodles! What kind?

CheekyBaby32: Kraft Macaroni of course!

NessieLove83: What shape?

CheekyBaby32: Pokemon of course!

NessieLover83: Pikachu I choose you!

CheekyBaby32: Pika Pika!

NessieLover83: Does that mean I'm Ash if your Pikachu?

CheekyBaby32: No silly! Your not cool enough ……..

NessieLover83: Says who?

CheekyBaby32: Says your mom.

NessieLover83: MY MOMS DEAD! THANKS NESSIE!

CheekyBaby32: OMG I'M SOOO SORRY!

NessieLover83: Its ok, my therapist says I'm slowly accepting it…..

CheekyBaby32: Who's your therapist?

NessieLover83: …..Embry……….

CheekyBabry32: Embry?

NessieLover83: .Embry. Did you know he has feelings?

CheekyBaby32: Really?

NessieLover83: I know rite! Jasper just told me a couple of days ago….

CheekyBaby32: That's SOOO weird……

NessieLover83: Let's go poke him and see if he gets angry!

CheekyBaby32: LETS GO! WERE OFF!!

**-CheekyBaby32 Signed off-**

**-NessieLover83 Signed off-**


	3. Emmett!

**Hey Guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while… I had exams but they are FINALLY over! I was bored in class today so I wrote another chapter…. I suppose it will be in honor of the New Moon premiere!!! **

**So without further ado……..**

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**-ShoppingPixie42 has joined the chat room -**

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**-IFellYou90 has joined the chat room -**

Shopping Pixie42: HIYA EVERYBODY!

YayImAVamp95: Hey guys…

BellaMyLove1901: Hello

ILuvsYou90: Hello, dears.

DoctorDude25: Good Afternoon Children.

WorshipMeOrElse: Hi.

IFeelYou90: Howdy!

YayImAVamp95: Howdy?

IFeelYou90: Yes. Do you have a problem with that?

YayImAVamp95: No but Edward told me you lost your accent years ago…. I thought you would say something more… I don't know…. Stereotypical of you…..

IFeelYou90: Like what Bella?

YayImAVamp95: Like " Hello all. What a lifeless/hopeless/depressing day we're having."

IFeelYou90: WHY DOES EVERYBODY THINK I'M EMO!

WorshipMeOrElse: You DO have all those scars…. Care to explain those mister?

IFeelYou90: I WAS IN A WAR GODDAMMIT!

ILuvsYou03: Why don't we back off Jasper..

WorshipMeOrElse: Hey guys….. Has anybody seen Emmett?

ILuvsYou03: HOLY SWEET JESUS YOU LEFT HIM ALONE?!?!

IFeelYou90: YOU'RE HIS WIFE ROSE YOU SHOULD KEEP TRACK OF HIM!

WorshipMeOrElse: I THOUGHT YOU WERE WATCHING HIM EDWARD!

BellaMyLove1901: I ONLY BABYSIT ON TUESDAY NIGHTS!

DoctorDude25: Oh my, this is horrible…. Horrible indeed….

YayImAVamp95: HE COULD BE DOING ANYTHING BY NOW!

ILuvsYou03: WAIT!

DoctorDude25: WHAT!

ILuvsyou03: Alice, can't you see him?

ShoppingPixie42: Hold on, let my try….

WorshipMeOrElse: HURRY UP WOMAN! THE WORLD MAY POSSIBLY BE IN GRAVE DANGER!

ShoppingPixie42: Okay Mrs.I-lost-my-husband-and-now-I'm-taking-it-out-on-my-poor-defenseless-sister!

WorshipMeOrElse: JUST GO!

ShoppingPixie42: OKAY OKAY GOSH!

ShoppingPixie42: Um…… by god Rose your husband is an idiot…...

BellaMyLove1901: WHAT IS IT?!? DO WE HAVE TO WARN TE WHITE HOUSE AGAIN?!?!?!

ShoppingPixie42: No, no….. Emmett dug a giant hole in the backyard, put a piece of sheet metal of it, covered the sheet metal in leaves, and is now pretending he is batman and the hole is the bat cave…..

DoctorDude25: *Smacks Forehead*

ILuvsYou03: My god…..

YayImAVamp95: What an idiot…..

BellaMyLove1901: Sometimes I swear that grizzly bear harmed his brain….

WorshipMeOrElse: And I married him why?

IFeelYou90: WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT!?!?! DO YOU THINK HE'LL LET ME BE ROBIN?!?!

ShoppingPixie42: *Glares*

IFeelYou90: I mean….. IGOR YOU FOOL!

DoctorDude25: OH WHY OH WHY AM I SURROUNDED BY COMPLETE IDIOTS!!

**-DoctorDude25 has left the chat room-**

ILuvsYou03: Oh my….

**-ILuvsYou03 has left the chat room-**

WorshipMeOrElse: I suppose I should go find the idiot otherwise known as my husband…

**-WorshipMeOrEsle has left the chat room-**

IFeelYou90: WAIT! ROSE! DON'T RUIN OUR… I MEAN HIS FUN!

**-IFeelYou90 has left the chat room-**

ShoppingPixie42: Wait! Jasper! Can I at least design your costumes?!?

**-ShoppingPixie42 has left the chat room-**

YayImAVamp95: Hey Edward…..

BellaMyLove1901: I'll be right there!!!!!!

**-YayImAVamp95 has left the chat room-**

**-BellaMyLove1901 has left the chat room-**

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**Yay! Finished this chapter!**

**In case you didn't get the IGOR YOU FOOL! Part, it's from Young Frankenstein… **

**yeah… **

**and if you didn't get the last part between Bella and Edward… then I guess you don't have a dirty mind like I do :P **

**btw I know the topic was really random but its and insider between my cousin and I :)**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	4. Snowflakes and Burritos

**Hey, so this one isn't really funny, but I'm just like saying… I got the idea from vjgm's Parenting Skills 101 by . Go read it!**

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**-YayImAVamp95 has joined the chat room-**

**-BellaMyLove1901 has joined the chat room-**

YayImAVamp95: Hey Edward, have you ever realized our family is very stereotypical?

BellaMyLove1901: Not really love, we're vampires, not very stereotypical…

YayImAVamp95: No like, Emmett is the guy who never really grew up.

BellaMyLove1901: Oh yeah and like Carlisle and Esme are the typical doctor and wife.

YayImAVamp5: And how Rose is the bitch.

BellaMyLove1901: Alice is the typical girly-girl.

YayImAVamp95: Jazz is the typical emo boy….

**-IFeelYou90 has joined the chat room-**

IFeelYou90: FOR THE LAST TIME I'M NOT EMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**-IFeelYou90 has left the chat room-**

YayImAVamp95: Ummm……ok…..

BellaMyLove1901: Hey Bella! What stereotype am I?

YayImAVamp95: You're the perfect man.

BellaMyLove1901: And you're SOO weird you don't represent any stereotype.

YayImAVamp95: I'm going to take that as a complement to my individuality..

YayImAVamp95:IM LIKE A SNOWFLAKE!!!!!!!

BellaMyLove1901: YAY MY LITTLE SNOWFLAKE!!!!!!

YayImAVamp95: I LOVE YOU MY LITTLE BURRITO!!!!  
BellaMyLove1901: Burrito?

YayImAVamp95: Yeah 'cause you're SPICY!!!!!!!!

BellaMyLove1901: YAY!! KISS ME BELLA!!!!

YayImAVamp95: WAIT!

BellaMyLove1901: WHAT?

YayImAVamp95: I HAVE TO SING FIRST!

YayImAVamp95: TACO TACO BURRITO BURRITO!

BellaMyLove1901: TACO FLAVORED KISSES!

YayImAVamp95: LETS GO MAKE A YOUTUBE VIDEO!

BellaMyLove1901: ¡SI! ¡AYE AYE AYE!

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**OK, so if you didn't get the taco flavored kisses thing… its from south park :P and the snowflake is from DamnedDaybreaker's Cullen Aim which is HILARIOUS! Yeah so…. REVIEW!!!!!**


	5. Llama Lover!

**Okay, so, sorry I haven't updated in a while…. But here's a new chapter and I have two more in the works! Yay! So… read and REVIEW!!!!!!!!!**

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**-IFeelYou90 has joined the chat room-**

**-TheSex100 has joined the chat room-**

TheSex100: OHMYLLAMATURDS GUESS WHAT?!?

IFeelYou90: Um… you don't have a llama, therefore, it would not be your llama turds…unless you randomly own llama turds…..

TheSex100:But I do! They're so tiny and cute!

IFeelYou90: Llamas or their turds?

TheSex100: Their turds of course! But don't even get me started on my love of llamas!

IFeelYou90: You love llamas?

TheSex100: I told you not to get me started! Gosh!

**-TheSex100 has left the chat room-**

**-WorshipMeOrElse** **has joined the chat room-**

IFeelYou90: Hey Rose, I never knew Em liked Llamas…

WorshipMeOrElse: Ugg, yeah.. He has a secret door in his closet that he doesn't think I know about…

IFeelYou90: What does that have to do with llamas?

WorshipMeOrElse: Oh, he has a shrine to llamas in there. He has llama hair, posters of llamas, pictures of llamas, llama turds, toe nail clippings of llamas, a llama scented car freshener, Llama Lovers boxers, llama spit, and a tv that plays a constant loop of shows about llamas…

WorshipMeOrElse: Ever check his blue ipod?

IFeelYou90: Nope, only the red one.

WorshipMeOrElse: Yeah, well, the blue ones filled with llama songs with bands like the Llama Lords and shit.

IFeelYou90: Wow, shit.

WorshipMeOrElse: Yeah, he goes on this website called and writes fan fictions under the name LocoLlamaLover.

IFeelYou90: What a noob.

WorshipMeOrElse: The noobiest; but he's my noob.

IFeelYou90: Welp, this is awkward….nothing to talk about now….

WorshipMeOrElse: Yeah…bye…

IFeelYou90: Bye….

**-WorshipMeOrElse** **has left the chat room-**

**-IFeelYou90** **has left the chat room - **

HOPE YOU LIKED IT!!! If you search LocoLlamaLover as an author there is actually an account in which Emmett will post stories dedicated to his love of llamas!


	6. UPDATE

**Ok, I'm SOOO sorry I haven't updated in a while… School has been tough and I have my friend and her family staying with me and god, I've been SOOO busy… But I have the next chapter almost done and I have lots of ideas…. So **

**NEVER FEAR 00STUPIDLAMB00 IS HERE!! AND SHE IS BACK IN ACTION!!!! **

**Lol… **

****By the way… If you have any ideas… any at all… even if you think their retarded…. PLEASE! Send them to me… I don't get a lot of reviews and such so any kind of inbox or review gets me REALLY happy! Thanks!!!!!**

**-00StupidLamb00**


	7. Emmett's Reading Problem

**Ok, so I felt bad about not updating so… I'm sitting here in class and I finished this up for you guys…. Maybe you can say thanks by reviewing? Lol.. Idk.. if you review I'll give you a virtual Emmett Bear Hug!**

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**-BellaMyLove1901 has entered the chat room-**

**-DoctorDude25 has entered the chat room-**

**-ILuvsYou03 has entered the chat room**

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**-ShoppingPixie42 has entered the chat room-**

**-YayImAVamp95 has entered the chat room-**

ILuvsYou03: Rose dear, you had better tell me why Emmett isn't here before I freak.

IFeelYou90: Don't worry mom, he's with me.

YayImAVamp95: Are we supposed to feel better about that?

BellaMyLove1901: Don't worry love, he's with me too.

DoctorDude25: Edward would you like to tell me what happened?

BellaMyLove1901: I think that the guilty idiot should explain for himself….

BellaMyLove1901: Jasper?

IFeelYou90: Ok, so me and Em

ILuvsYou03: Em and I

IFeelYou90: What ev, so we were playing superman and I was the bad guy so I was trying to find Superman's kryptonite and so I found this rabid squirrel that was really fucked up and I think he had gotten a hold of some pot or something I don't know but it was awesome and so I fed it to Em and first he threw up everything he's eaten in the last 50 years

YayImAVamp95: Wait! Why has he eaten anything?

ShoppingPixie42: Common, you don't know? Emmett's special power isn't that he's strong…it's that he can eat human food…and beer….

YayImAVamp95: Oh. Okay,Jasper, continue….

IFeelYou90: Okay so then he like spazzed and ran all around and then he suddenly stopped and sat cross-legged on the forest floor. Than he's like Jazz I feel retarded. And I was like that's 'cause you are. Then he was like no I actually feel sped.

IFeelYou90: So I said, lets go home and tell everybody and so I logged on to the computer and said sign in to aim and he's like how and I'm like okay, well re-re, type your screen name in and then your password and he's like, where? And I'm like WHERE IT SAYS SCREEN NAME! and he's like where's it say that and I'm like CAN'T YOU READ FUCKTARD?!?

IFeelYou90: And he's like…….I don't think so…So then I got Edward 'cause he's smart and he yelled a me so after I cried and he calmed me down, Em started crying 'cause I was accidentally releasing sadness and so we gave him a waffle then he was like okay and then me and Edward signed onto aim and then Esme said Rose, dear, you had better tell me why Emmett isn't here before I freak

WorshipMeOrElse: OKAY! WE WERE THERE FOR THAT PART!

IFeelYou90: Yeah, so, now you're husband can't .

DoctorDude25: Don't worry, it will wear off, but first…. LETS MESS WITH HIM!

IFeelYou90: I like the way you think pops!

DoctorDude25: Don't call me pops.

IFeelYou90: Okay pops! Lets go!

**-BellaMyLove1901 has left the chat room-**

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**Okay, so Emmett's special power is from Growing Up Cullen and Jazz and Edward giving him a waffle to make him feel better is from Damned Daybreaker's Cullen Aim… Check them out… Their funny!!!**

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	8. The Three Musketeers!

**TWO CHAPTERS IN TWO DAYS!!! YAY!!! ALSO, THANK YOU SOOO MUCH RoxasKicksAss FOR REVIEWING!!!! ALSO, THANK YOU TO booksonclouds AND Flameco68 FOR REVIEWING PREVIOUS CHAPTERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **

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-**TheSex100 has entered the chat room-**

**-IluvEdwardSecretly222 has entered the chat room-**

**-IFellYou90 has entered the chat room-**

TheSex100: Three Musketeers! Unite!

TheSex100:Presenting Emmett! The sexy!

IFellYou90: Jasper! The brave!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Seth! The sexy!

TheSex100: Seth, not cool man. I'm the sexy, therefore (ooo big word!) you cannot be the sexy. And Jasper, I've told you a thousand times, ..EMO.!

IFellYou90: I'M NOT EMO!!!!!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Whatever man, and fine Emmett, I'll be Seth the extremely attractive and fairly sexy.

TheSex100: NO. Not even fairly sexy.

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Fine…. Seth! The extremely attractive and awesome!

TheSex100: Fine, let's try this again…. Three Musketeers! Unite! Presenting Emmett! The sexy!

IFellYou90: Jasper! The brave!

TheSex100: Emo

IFellYou90: FUCK YOU!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Seth! The extremely attractive and awesome!

TheSex100: Ok, now that that is done… our first order of business…

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Why do you get to say the first order of business?

TheSex100: Because I'm the leader!

IFellYou90: SAYS WHO!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: YEAH! SAYS WHO!

TheSex100: Says me.

IFellYou90: Give me five reasons why you should be leader.

TheSex100: 1. I'm the sex 2. I'm hot 3. I'm awesome 4. I've got a hot wife 5. I drink beer.

IFellYou90: THOSE AREN'T REASONS!

TheSex100: YUH HUH!

IFellYou90: NUH UH!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Fine Jasper, give us your reasons.

IFellYou90: Fine! 1. I'm more mature than Emmett 2. I can change emotions 3. I have a beautiful wife 4. I have amazing hair 5.I'm not emo

TheSex100: Ok, here are my problems with that. 1. You may be more mature but I'm more fun 2. Who cares if you can change emotions.. Everybody knows its just that you have gaydar…and I can get that at Sharper Image.. 3. Your wife is short and annoying 4. Your hair is weird 5. YOU ARE EMO!!!!!!

IFellYou90: FUCK YOU!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: You guys are both stupid!

IFellYou90: Ok tough guy, what are your reasons.

IluvEdwardSecretly222: 1. I'm a wolf 2. I'm hot… literally 3. I'm amazingly awesome…. 4. I don't have to be burdened by a wife 5. I'm Seth.

IFellYou90: Okay, how is number 4 a good thing….

IluvEdwardSecretly222: It isn't… I just needed to get my feelings out.. *cries*

TheSex100: *rubs back* let it all out buddy, just let it all out…..

IFellYou90: God, bromance much? My gaydar is going off!

TheSex100: SO YOU DO HAVE GAYDAR!! Seth man, you owe me five bucks.

IluvEdwardSecretly222: OK! EVEN THOUGH I JUST LOST FIVE BUCKS I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT I LET MY FEELINGS OUT!

TheSex100: See kids? It's better to let you're feelings out like Seth than keep your feelings in like my brother Jasper here does….

IFellYou90: FUCK YOU!

TheSex100: See? That called DENILE kids….

IFellYou90: Who are you talking to?

TheSex100: *whispers* The voices man… the voices…..

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Kay…. I say we vote on who should be leader!

TheSex100: OK! I VOTE ME!

IFellYou90: I VOTE ME!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: I VOTE EDWARD!

TheSex100: 0____o

IFellYou90: ???

IluvEdwardSecretly222: I MEAN ME!!! I VOTE ME!!!

TheSex100: Yeah.. While we're on the subject of that… why is your screen name ILuvEdwardSecretly222?

IFellYou90: Yeah, and why is my gaydar going off the charts?

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Um…I…Um…

**-Seth has left chat room-**

TheSex100:… Can we take that as Seth dropping out of the race for leader?

IFellYou90: Yeah, sure, but how do we decide between the two of us?

TheSex100: OOO! I've got an idea! Jasper, make up your mind that I'm the leader!

IFellYou90: NO! I LEARNED NOT TO TRUST VAMPIRES!! TRUST ME!! **(***AN: HAHA! THAT'S FROM NEW MOON! I know it didn't make much sense but I had to put it in there!)**

TheSex100: Just do it.

IFellYou90: Fine, I just made up my mind.

**-ShoppingPixie42** **has entered the chat room-**

ShoppingPixie42: Why did I just get a vision of the entire tri-state area getting blown up?!?

TheSex100: Damn, I was afraid of that. Jasper, now make up your mind that you're the leader….

ShoppingPixie42: *Lets out a sigh of relief* Okay, its back now. You guys are idiots whatever you're doing. I'm going shopping…..

**-ShoppingPixie42 has left the chat room-**

IFellYou90: YESH!!! I'M THE LEADER!

TheSex100: BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THE TRI-STATE AREA?!? I CAN STILL BE LEADER!

IFellYou90: Perry the Platypus cares about the tri-state area.

TheSex100: Touche my emo brother…

IFellYou90: FUCK YOU! I'M NOT EMO GODDAMMIT!

TheSex100: Whatever you say…..emo..

IFellYou90: THE MEETING OF THE THREE MUSKETEERS IS OVER! OVER!

**-IFellYou90 has left the chat room-**

TheSex100: Fine….poopyhead….

**-TheSex100 has left the chat room-**

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**Okay, so in Damned Daybreaker's Cullen Aim she mentioned something about Seth, Emmett, and Jasper, being the three musketeers so, I thought I should give her credit… also… the gaydar thing is from Twicurls video Twilight Merchandise on Youtube… love them.. And the Sharper Image thing comes from The Office. Also, I think you know where Perry and the Tri-State area and stuff are from, but if you don't, its from Phineas and Ferb. **

****Yay so… REVIEW!!! IF YOU DO YOU WILL BE MENTIONED IN THE NEXT CHAPTERS AUTHORS NOTE FOR THE FANFICTION WORLD TO SEE!!! IF YOU WANT I'LL EVEN ADVERTISE YOUR FANFIC!!!! JUST PLEASE REVIEW!!! (wow, I'm getting desperate..)**


	9. Emoticons!

**Okay, so this was going to be dedicated to Kennedy Cullen… but I don't really like this chapter.. So.. The next chapter between Nessie and Jake will be dedicated to her…. THANK YOU TO **

Ikuto Loves Me More **AND** Kennedy Cullen **FOR REVIEWING THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER!**

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**-****CheekyBaby32** **has entered the chat room-**

-**NessieLover83 has entered the chat room-**

CheekyBaby32: JAKE! YO HOMIZLE WHERE YOU AT-IZLE!

NessieLover83: I'm right here!!! Jake in the house!

CheekyBaby32: :B

NessieLover83: What is that?

CheekyBaby32: It's a emoticon!

NessieLover83: What's an emoticon?

CheekyBaby32: It's a smiley face you make with punctuation and letters and stuff.

CheekyBaby32: Like this

CheekyBaby32: :)

CheekyBaby32: Or this :(

NessieLover83: OOO that sounds fun!!! Lets assign one emoticon for everybody we know!

CheekyBaby32: Ok! You say the name, I'll draw the face!

NessieLover83: Ok, Charlie.

CheekyBaby32: :-#|

NessieLover83: HAHAH HE HAS A MUSTACHE!

CheekyBaby32: Why yesh…yesh he does..

NessieLover83: Ok how about my dad.

CheekyBaby32: |^o

CheekyBaby32: 'Cause whenever I come over to your house he's sleeping…

NessieLover83: Ok, Jasper…

CheekyBaby32: (//_-)

NessieLover83: OMG THAT IS TOO PERFECT!

CheekyBaby32: I KNOW RIGHT!!!

NessieLover83: Ok, Alice..

CheekyBaby32: X-D

NessieLover83: Love it! Ok, Rose…

CheekyBaby32: O--;-- **(***AN: It wouldn't let me use an at symbol so I had to use a O instead **** )**

NessieLover83: IT'S AN ACTUAL ROSE!! WOW! EMOTICONS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!

CheekyBaby32: Your childlike response amuses me….

NessieLover83: Kay… So… How 'bout Emmett?

CheekyBaby32: ( o Y o )

NessieLover83: What is it?

CheekyBaby32: *Snickers* It's boobs…..

NessieLover83: God Nessie you shouldn't know those things…

CheekyBaby32: I am Emmett's neice… obviously I know "those things"….

NessieLover83: Moving on… Carlisle…..

CheekyBaby32: :)

NessieLover83: That's boring…

CheekyBaby32: He's boring….

NessieLover83: Point taken…. **(**AN: I actually love Carlisle….so.. Yeah… by no means am I like anti-Carlisle nor do I think he's boring)**

NessieLover83: Esme….

CheekyBaby32: 3 **(**AN: It won't let me do the greater than symbol so it's supposed to be a heart )**

NessieLover83N: It's a heart…

NessieLover83: OOooOO

NessieLover83: Kay….. You'r mom

CheekyBaby32: EXUSE ME?!?

NessieLover83: Bella, your mother?

CheekyBaby32: Oh… hhmm… 0____o

CheekyBaby32: 'Cause she's always confused…

NessieLover83: HAHAH THAT'S SO TRUE!!!

NessieLover83: Ok… Edward….

CheekyBaby32: :-,

CheekyBaby32: It's my dad's famous "crooked smile"

NessieLover83: Kay how about you?

CheekyBaby32: I'm too amazing for an emoticon…

NessieLover83 Well played…. Well played…

NessieLover83: How about me?

CheekyBaby32: E:o3

CheekyBaby32: … It's a dog….

**-NessieLover83 has left the chat room-**

CheekyBaby32: Fine….

**-****CheekyBaby32**** has left the chat room-**

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**Kay so… I'm gonna make a background with everybody's emoticon on it… I'll put it up later…**

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	10. Emmett and the Unicorn

**Ok, so, I know I always make excuses on why I haven't updated so I just won't make an excuse and just say sorry… READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!**

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TheSex100: Hey Guys!!! I have big news!!!!

ShoppingPixie42: God….

YayImAVamp95:OooO what is it?!?

TheSex100: I FOUND A REAL LIVE UNICORN!!!! COME SEE!!!!

BellaMyLove1901: And how would we do that without leaving the computer?

TheSex100: SWITCH TO AIM ON YOUR CELL!! God your gay…

YayImAVamp95: Edward aren't you going to say something back?!?! Your obviously not gay because you always make sweet sweet vampire love to me!!!  
BellaMyLove1901: Honey, its best not to encourage Emmett….

YayImAVamp95: I thought that only applied to children?

BellaMyLove1901: And your point being?

YayImAVamp95: Rightt… got it.

TheSex100: SO ARE YOU COMING!!!!!!!

ShoppingPixie42: Fine, but I've already seen it….

TheSex100: Sooo… what do you think?Isn't this AMAZING!!!!

IFeelYou90: HOLYSHITBALLSTHISISAMAZING!!!!!!

BellaMyLove1901: Oh my god Emmett did you glue a unicorn lollypop on to this poor horse?

YayImAVamp95: And you dumped it in glitter?

ShoppingPixie42: And dyed it's hair rainbow Emmett your insane!

TheSex100t: 1. I'm not insane, I'm just fun. And 2. I didn't glue the lollipop on I just jammed it in its head.

BellaMyLove1901: By god Emmett you probably scrambled its brain!

IFeelYou90: Haha now it's as dumb as you!!

TheSex100: Well at least I'm not emo!!!  
IFeelYou90: FUCK YOU I'M NOT EMO!!!!

TheSex100: ISN'T THIS UNICORN DISCOVERY MAGICAL!!!!! IT WILL SURELY HELP THE ADVANCMENT OF SCIENCE!!!!

ShoppingPixie42: THIS ISN'T SCIENCE EMMETT THIS IS ANIMAL ABUSE!!!!

YayImAVamp95: Um… Edward?

BellaMyLove1901: Yes my love?

YayImAVamp95: I think it's dead………

TheSex100: REALLY?!?! That's kinda sad…

..

..

Hey guys?

Ever wanted to know what a unicorn tastes like?

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	11. Bill Nye and Jasper Emo Problem

**So today, I found out that Bill Nye the Science Guy was dead… so I wrote this chapter…. But then I looked it up and he's still alive…but whatever… READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!**

**Special thanks to:**

Kennedy Strider Cullen

LadyOfTheLancashireManor

**P.S. I GOT MY FLAMER!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!! (Not really a flamer, they told me I was breaking the rules….)**

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TheSex100: HOLY SHIT GUYS EMERGENCY MEETING OF THE THREE MUSKETEERS!! No time for our super duper cool intro-thingy!!!!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: NO INTRO?!?! WHAT'S WRONG?!?

TheSex100: There has been a death. Someone very dear to me is no longer with us *sob*.

IFeelYou90: Woah, emotional overload! Who died?

TheSex100: Bill Nye the Science Guy……

IluvEdwardSecretly222: OHMYGODNO!!!! SAYITISNTSO!!

TheSex100: BUTITIS!!!  
IFeelYou90: OHNO! I MUST GO AND WRITE POETRY TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS!!!!!

TheSex100: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! REALLY?!?!?! REALLY JASPER?!?!?!?!

IFeelYou90: Yes really. When I am upset I feel that getting my feelings out on paper really truly helps.

TheSex100: OK, ok, I have to ask you this…. Are you emo?

IFeelYou90: NO! GOD! FUCK YOU I'M NOT EMO!!

TheSex100: But… you write poetry to express your feelings?

IFeelYou90: Yes.

TheSex100: And you cut yourself?

IFeelYou90: NO!!!!!!!

TheSex100: Can you explain why you have all those scars all over?

IFeelYou90: EMMETT!!! I was in the war!!! And I was part of a newborn army!!!!

TheSex100: OOOOKKKAAYYY…..SSUUURRREEE….

IluvEdwardSecretly222: CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS ON THE FACT THAT THE NYE IS DEAD?!?

TheSex100: BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY IS DEAD?!?!?BUR HE WAS THE WACKY AND FUN SCIENCE TEACHER THAT AS LOVED BY ALL!!! OH WHY OH WHY DID YOU HAE TO LEAVE BILL!!! YOU TAUGHT ME SO MUCH ABOUT SCIENCE!!! YOU TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE!!! I LOVED YOU BILL!!! I LOVED YOU!!!

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YayImAVamp95: I couldn't help but notice Emmett sobbing uncontrollably and screaming, "WHY OH WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO? WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!!!!!!" ….what's going on…….

IFeelYou90: Bill Nye *sniff* the science guy *sniff* has passed on…..

YayImAVamp95: So? He wasn't even a real scientist…..

IluvEdwardSecretly22: LIES! YOU SPEAK LIES!!

TheSex100: She's right, he wasn't a scientist……

IluvEdwardSecretly222: WHAT?!?!

TheSex100: HE WAS THE SCIENCIST!!!!! AHHH!!! I MISS YOU BILL!!!

IluvEdwardSecretly222: Dude, dude, can you come over? I…..I…. I just need you to hold me…

TheSex100: OF COURSE I WILL BRO!!! AT TIMES LIKE THIS WE MUST JOIN TOGHETHER AND HEAL THIS HOLE IN EACH OF OUR HEARTS!!!

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IFeelYou90: I must go and write my poetry now……..

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YayImAVamp95:………………..

………………….

……………………

…freaks……

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